on being right

Sometimes I feel like I’m not enough.

Not smart enough.

Not fun enough.

Not cute enough.

Not worthy of anything better.

And so, sometimes, during those times when I feel I’m not enough, I sabotage myself from ever doing any better. The subconscious rationale is this: If I don’t amount to what I could amount to, then I am right about not being enough.  And being right somehow feels better to my silly head than being enough. I guess it’s a guarantee at being something.