Tuesday, August 25, 2009
missing you + you + you + you
I have never really missed anyone before.
I think it must be because I have always jumped into things (relationships and friendships alike) with both feet and all my baggage (literally and figuratively) – and when the desire and lust and fun were all over, I was done. I could not possibly miss them.
I never allowed myself to miss anyone because I was just with people all the time, even when I was by myself. I mean that I was obsessive, I guess. I would not stop thinking about whichever person I could have missed. I texted them, called them, messaged them whenever I so chose and so never had the opportunity to miss them.
It is a strange new thing to miss someone.
I never knew how gratifying it was going to be to miss.
I miss a certain few people at this very second.
At this exact second.
And for a few, a bit of a sob wells into my chest.
I have them in my mind, in fondness.
To miss them means simply that I just want them to be around me - but they are not.
I have them so securely in my mind.
I’m not worried if they feel the same as I
or even when I will see them.
I do not wonder if they will call or write.
I just want them to be around me or me around them.
To feel their presence or touch their faces.
I suppose it feels good to them to have this coming from me.
Simply to be wanted, just because.
Just because someone wants you to be near them.